Debbie's Perspective

Just my thoughts of the day.

Ode to 50

on February 23, 2013

Oh, Fifty, where did you come from? How did you slip up on me so quickly? I still feel like me; the me I was at 20, 30, or 40, and yet not the same. Time you have left your mark on me. Not just the physical markings of lines on my face, a little sag here, less muscle there, but markings of a different kind. You have brought calm to my life that wasn’t there before; a knowing that I can survive tragedy and sorrow. There is a true comfort in that. I don’t like it any better than I thought I would, but I am left with a realization that I do survive and come out the other side. I have a choice on this side to remain scarred by the events or to let them wash over me leaving me with their melancholy song, but not overtaking me. I have the songs of joy that fill my heart, also; the birth of children, laughter, good friends that have shared hard times and good times with me, and grown even dearer and deeper because of it.

Though I am not the girl I once was, and not finished being the woman I will become, I am enjoying the becoming much more than I thought I would. I’ve found a comfortable place in life. Is that the secret treasure of aging? If so, it is a good treasure, one worth exploring. I will embrace 50, this new decade of my life. I will try to glean all there is out of it if given the days that no one is ever promised, but always hope for.

I don’t know what this decade will bring, but I know I can face it as God directs my steps, and my family and friends surround me. Hello 50, good to meet you.

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